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What is your “Why”? Core Values Exercises for Anxiety Resiliency

What is your “Why”? Core Values Exercises for Anxiety Resiliency

by | Apr 18, 2024 | Anxiety, Motivation, Self Acceptance

Anxiety often prompts us to steer clear of situations that trigger fear, causing many to shrink their lives to avoid such triggers. However, understanding and embracing our core values can provide a light through the darkness of anxiety and help us reconnect with a full, engaged life without avoiding the things that scare us. In this guide, we’ll explore how to recognize and integrate our values using principles from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). By anchoring ourselves in our values, we can navigate anxiety with resilience and purpose.

 

Understanding Values:

Values are the guiding principles that define what truly matters to us in life. They represent our deepest desires and aspirations, guiding our decisions and actions. When anxiety strikes, it can be easy to lose sight of these values. However, by connecting with our values, we can find clarity and direction amidst the chaos. Here’s how to identify your values:

 

  • Reflect on Meaningful Experiences: Take a moment to reflect on past experiences when you felt most fulfilled and aligned with your values. These moments often occur during times of challenge or adversity, highlighting the importance of our values in guiding us through difficult times.
  • Clarify Your Priorities: In the face of anxiety, it’s essential to identify your priorities and align them with your values. What aspects of your life do you prioritize when making decisions? What would your monthly budget say about your priorities? What would your calendar show about what is most important to you?
  • Imagine Your Ideal Life: Envision a life where you are living in alignment with your values. What does this life look like? By visualizing your ideal future, you can gain clarity on the values that are most important to you. This pivotal step anchors you in your motivation to persevere through the demanding process of confronting the fear and avoidance that trap so many in anxiety.

 

 

Integrating Values into Daily Life:

Integrating values into your daily life is essential for building resilience. Here’s how you can incorporate your values into your daily routine:

  • Set Goals Aligned with Your Values: Identify goals that are aligned with your core values and take steps to pursue them. By setting goals that are meaningful to you, you can stay focused and motivated, even in the face of anxiety.
  • Take Values-Based Action: Commit to taking action that is consistent with your values, even when it feels challenging. By prioritizing values-based action, you can build resilience and overcome anxiety-triggering situations with confidence.
  • Practice Mindfulness and Acceptance: Cultivate mindfulness and acceptance of your internal experiences, including anxious thoughts and feelings. By practicing mindfulness, you can observe your thoughts without judgment and respond to them in a values-driven manner instead of an anxiety-driven manner.

 

Embracing your values is a powerful tool for building resilience. By connecting with what truly matters to you and aligning your actions with your values, you can navigate life’s challenges with clarity and purpose. If you’re ready to explore your values further and receive support on your journey, consider reaching out to a therapist on our team who can guide you through this process. Your path to resilience starts by embracing your values today.

Contamination Fears In a Contaminated World: What’s Appropriate And What’s Compulsive?

Contamination Fears In a Contaminated World: What’s Appropriate And What’s Compulsive?

by | Aug 1, 2022 | Anxiety, Obsession

Covid, Measles outbreaks, Mokeypox- it can feel overwhelming to manage the constant barrage of new threats. For most people, a significant behavioral change is needed to ensure safety, but for people with OCD or health anxiety, where do you draw the line? What are appropriate safety precautions, and what are compulsive safety-seeking or attempts to manage anxiety? Years ago, it would have been seen as obviously excessive for most people to wear a mask in public spaces, sanitize everything before bringing it into your home, and refuse people in your home, but now that may be exactly what’s needed to remain safe. An added component to this difficulty are the differences in how folks view these threats, complicating factors like having young children or being immunocompromised, and individual tolerance for risk. What might be excessive for one person may be necessary for another.  

 

There is no one right answer to what is an “appropriate” level of safety precaution, again because each person will have a different set of circumstances to consider. The simplest way to explore if your safety precautions are appropriate, or potentially causing you more anxiety/distress, can be boiled down to three questions: 

 

Is this in line with expert recommendations?

The more obvious way to assess your safety precautions is to find experts whose opinions and recommendations you trust. This could be medical doctors, scientists, government agencies, or ideally, a combination of several so you can ensure your information is reliable. For example, both the CDC and the Mayo Clinic advise washing your hands with soap and water for at least 20 seconds or, if that is not available, using hand sanitizer with at least 60% alcohol content. With this in mind, some folks may prefer to go a little beyond these recommendations, but it gives a good barometer for what is considered adequate for safety. 

 

Is this safety precaution causing you harm in an effort to keep you safe? 

This is truly the most important assessment. If washing your hands for 60 seconds feels more comfortable, there’s likely little harm and it could be appropriate to continue. However, if you begin using scalding water, harmful chemicals like bleach, or begin to experience peeling, cracking, or bleeding, it warrants an assessment of whether the safety precaution is appropriate. 

 

Is this causing me to be unable to engage in necessary or preferred activities?

This is a slightly more challenging assessment because nearly everyone has experienced a decrease in their ability to engage in preferred tasks, or are having to engage in them in different ways than we used to. You might have to say no to a large gathering, or only meet with friends outside and masked when you would prefer not to. If you find yourself isolating, or feeling unable to engage in activities even when risk could be mitigated, it might warrant a closer look. Another major component to this question is how much time is being spent on the safety precaution. For example, there’s a major difference between a quick wipe-down on the groceries, and a 5 hour sanitizing deep clean. If you find yourself spending considerable time on safety precautions that you would normally spend on leisure activities, it may be worth exploring. 

 

If you are noticing that your attempts to maintain safety are starting to become detrimental in other ways, please reach out, a trained therapist can help you find a balance between safety and anxiety that opens the door to joy and hope. 

 

For more information, go to https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-contamination/ 

 

 

Deep Breathing: Why Do It?

Deep Breathing: Why Do It?

by | Jul 27, 2021 |

If you have ever felt frustrated by being told to just "take a deep breath" when you are feeling angry or anxious, you aren't alone. It's difficult to heed this advice when, in the moment, the mind and body are distracted or dysregulated. The adage of "just breathe"...

3 Unconventional Ways to Stop a Panic Attack

3 Unconventional Ways to Stop a Panic Attack

by | Mar 31, 2022 | Anxiety, Panic Attacks

Panic attacks feel different for everyone, but typically include sensations like a pounding heart, sweating, a feeling of terror, constricted or rapid breathing, and feeling as though the room is closing in on you or spinning. Regardless of how they present, a hallmark is that the normal things we might do to manage anxiety (deep breathing, CBT strategies, talking with a support person) often don’t work because our bodies and brains are too dysregulated to tap into those skills. If you’ve tried those things when a panic attack comes on and have been frustrated that they seem to not help, or even that they make things worse, you are not alone!  Below you’ll find a few strategies that may be more successful in the midst of a panic attack, and can help get you to a place of nervous system regulation that will make it possible to tap into those other skills. 


  1. Move.

A panic attack is signaling to your brain that there is a perceived threat it wants to get away from as fast as possible. It’s often not practical to truly run from the thing that is causing intense anxiety (a test or work presentation, a social interaction, etc.) but movement helps our brain calm down by reassuring it that if we were truly in danger, we could escape if needed.

 In the height of a panic attack, many people feel frozen even if their brain feels like it wants to run away. Larger movements like walking, jumping, or dancing can be the quickest way to reset the nervous system, however, many people find they are unable to do so in the moment. If that is the case for you, try focusing your energy on the smallest movement you can think of (lifting a finger or toe, wiggling in your chair, pressing your feet into the ground). Let these small movements build to larger movements to get the same calming effect and move through that feeling of being “stuck” or “frozen”. 

 

2. Taste Something Sour.

When experiencing a panic attack, our nervous system is entirely focused on the perceived threat at hand (sometimes people report experiencing “tunnel vision”) and it can feel like our brain and body forget that anything else exists. Eating something sour (or adding surprising sensory input of any kind) can help reset your nervous system into taking stock of what else is happening outside of the threat. You’ll need to follow-up with other coping skills after, but it can be enough to pull you out of the feeling that the panic attack is never going to end. Many people find success keeping sour candies on hand, especially when you’re in locations or situations that are anxiety-inducing.

 

3. Lean In

This one feels counterintuitive, but for many people the quickest way to stop a panic attack is to not try to stop it at all. Anxiety heightens when we try to ignore it. Imagine there was a person telling you the house was on fire, but you repeatedly responded, “no it’s not, it will be fine”. I doubt that person would agree and move on, instead they’d probably start yelling louder and louder until you finally took them seriously. For some people, coping strategies (especially things like distraction or positive statements) heighten anxiety and make panic attacks last longer. Try to imagine the panic attack as a roller coaster or wave, and remind yourself that this is a temporary state with an end point. It doesn’t feel great while it’s happening, but many people are surprised by how quickly they can move through a panic attack this way. 

It’s important to note that everyone responds to coping skills differently, and it can take some trial and error to create a toolbox of skills that work for you. These tips are meant for the immediate management of panic attacks, so if you are experiencing frequent panic attacks be sure to reach out to a therapist who can help you understand what might be triggering them and can work with you to identify strategies for long-term management. 

 

 

 

 

Read our other posts on Anxiety:

Deep Breathing: Why Do It?

Deep Breathing: Why Do It?

by | Jul 27, 2021 |

If you have ever felt frustrated by being told to just "take a deep breath" when you are feeling angry or anxious, you aren't alone. It's difficult to heed this advice when, in the moment, the mind and body are distracted or dysregulated. The adage of "just breathe"...

Deep Breathing: Why Do It?

Deep Breathing: Why Do It?

by | Jul 27, 2021 | Anxiety

If you have ever felt frustrated by being told to just “take a deep breath” when you are feeling angry or anxious, you aren’t alone. It’s difficult to heed this advice when, in the moment, the mind and body are distracted or dysregulated. The adage of “just breathe” has been around for a very long time, though it seems the science of how deep breathing works is not information that many of us are aware of.
 

Let’s try it out:

  

Find a comfortable seat in an environment where you feel safe. When you feel ready, begin to relax the muscles in and around your forehead, jaw, and shoulders. Take a deep breath in through your nose for a count of three – two – one. Pause at the top, and then when you’re ready, exhale through your mouth for a count of three – two – one. Pause at the bottom, and then repeat this pattern for as many times as you’d like. If the mind wanders, as it will, just notice and then gently invite it back to the breath. As you practice, feel free to lengthen or shorten the number of seconds you inhale, exhale, or pause the breath. Notice if you feel anything changing in the mind or body.

 
At first, it may not feel like a lot is happening, but there are subtle shifts taking place in the central nervous system when we breathe. Let’s use anxiety as an example. Can you recall a time where you felt anxious, and the changes that happened, either in your heart rate, breath, or perspiration? Often, when anxious or agitated, the heart speeds up, breath becomes shallow, and we start to sweat. This is the sympathetic nervous system turning on the ‘fight-or-flight” response. The breath speeds up, for example, because the body is preparing itself to either escape from or ward off danger. An increase in oxygen means an increase in blood to the muscles (to literally fight with or use to escape from something).
 
 
So, then, slowing the breath creates an opposite effect. When we purposefully take long, deep breaths, even if we are still feeling anxious, the deepening of the breath acts as a messenger to the parasympathetic nervous system – the ‘rest-and-digest’ response. The brain pays attention to the breath, and as it slows, the brain then sends signals to the heart to slow down, too. We literally hit the brake pads of the ‘fight-or-flight’ mechanism, which assists the nervous system in slowing down and returning to baseline. This creates opportunities for us to notice how we are feeling and care for ourselves in the moment. As we breathe, the body exits survival mode and can resume caring for itself as it’s designed to do.
 
 
Deep breathing may be simple, but this doesn’t mean it’s easy. Like anything, engaging the breath takes practice. Every time you take a deep breath, you are doing a bicep curl for the brain – and strengthening your ability to cope and self-regulate when emotions are high. Sometimes these emotions remain intense even during an attempt to take a deep breath, and so it’s important to remember that even if the emotion persists, by breathing, you’ve practiced taking care of yourself and reminding your nervous system that it – and you – are safe.

About the Author

Kayla Johnson is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) that loves to help clients that experience anxiety and panic. In addition to her work as a therapist, Kayla also teaches yoga! Here’s a link to her bio where you can learn more about Kayla and her work: https://starmeadowcounseling.com/counselors/kayla-johnson/

 

 

7 Skills to Try When You Feel “Overwhelmed”

7 Skills to Try When You Feel “Overwhelmed”

by | Oct 29, 2020 | Anxiety, Coping

Have you ever felt completely overcome by an intense emotions? Have feelings at times felt challenging to manage and overcome? The experience of being “overwhelmed” is uncomfortable and impactful in your life at work, home, or school.

 

Defining “Overwhelm”

Emotional overwhelm entails more than being stressed. You can feel submerged life’s current problems, to the point where you lack efficacy and feel frozen or paralyzed.

Compare the feeling of being overwhelmed to being submerged in a rough wave. It’s a scary experience! You may not know which way is up or what way to swim. You may feel stunned and unable to react. You may be unable to think or act rationally or functionally.

 

Whether brought on by events in the world (ahem, global pandemic) or events in your work or family life, emotional overwhelm can occur for a short burst of time or over a much longer period.

 

Sometimes, like many are experiencing in 2020, a series of hardships and challenges occurring in rapid succession can trigger someone to feel overwhelmed. Common experiences that may have lead to emotional overwhelm this year include:

 

  • Suddenly homeschooling your children
  • Experiences of racism or discrimination
  • Worry about systemic or political matters
  • Quarantining and isolating from friends
  • Cancellation of social hobbies and sports
  • Physical illnessor worry about COVID-19
  • Traumatic events
  • Relationship crises
  • Increased workload
  • Serving as a front-line worker
  • Newly working from home
  • Getting laid off or furloughed
  • Financial distress and insecurity
  • Deadlines and time constraints
  • Death of a loved one
  • Wildfires or other natural disaster
  • (And can we also add Murder Hornets?)

 

Managing Emotional Overwhelm

Here are some strategies that can help mitigate feelings of overwhelm:

 


  1. Embrace Anxiety

Fighting against high anxiety doesn’t help. In fact, it can add on a “secondary anxiety” that makes you feel anxious about your anxiety. Instead, try to remember that anxiety is an expected response to being out of your comfort zone. It is a “normal” human emotion.  The feeling is uncomfortable but not dangerous.

Acceptance means allowing for uncertainty and discomfort, mindfully acknowledging it, and keeping on with what you can do instead of dwelling on what you can’t. Sometimes “acceptance” means non-judgmentally sitting with the feeling in your body, assuring it that it’s “welcome,” and allowing yourself to experience it with curiosity.

If you’d like to learn more about this skill, check out “The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and start Living” by Russ Harris.

 


  1. Challenge Negative Thoughts 

Distorted, negative thoughts build up as anxiety grows and can amplify your feelings of overwhelm. In his book “Feeling Good,” Dr. David Burns lists 10 common cognitive distortions that often fuel feelings of distress. By noticing negative thought patterns, stopping them in their tracks, and re-writing them with more balanced, neutral, and accurate thoughts, you should notice a reduction in distress.


  1. Practice Mindful Grounding–

If your feelings of overwhelm are future-oriented “what if” thoughts, try out 5-senses grounding skills to bring you back into the present. The Calm meditation app is a great resource for guided meditation and practicing being present.


  1. Prioritize and Let Go of the Rest

Ruthlessly cut out extraneous and optional activities that don’t fully align with your top priorities and core needs. There aren’t as many “shoulds” and “have-to’s” in this life as sometimes our culture makes it seem. What are the true “essentials” in your life?  Is there anything you can let go of for now?


  1. Center on Core Values 

If you are feeling powerless over world events and broken systems, center on your core values. Give your values a specific name (ex. Acceptance; Equality; Freedom). Imagine that your value is speaking to you right now. What does it whisper? Feel it encourage, uplift, and ground you. Imagine yourself feeling rooted in them.


  1. Get Organized

Write down your to-do list and track activities on you schedule. When life becomes too busy, holding these things in your head is too much. Your thoughts can spin with all of your to-do’s so you don’t forget. Let a piece of paper (or your smart phone) hold on to the to-do’s for you. If you struggle with staying organized, you might try out Microsoft To Do, an app for organizing lists and tasks.


  1. Start Therapy

There are times in everyone’s life when it’s time to ask for help. A therapist is able to help you identify triggers for your feelings of overwhelm and craft a coping plan specifically for you. Help is available! You don’t have to do this by yourself.