Authentic vs. Inauthentic Shame: Why It’s Essential to Know the Difference
The feeling of shame has a reputation of being the vampire of emotions--the feeling that will suck the life right out of you. Because it comes with it a very physical discomfort, heat, and pain, it’s probably on your list of emotions to be avoided at all costs. In...
How to Ruminate Purposefully
Do your thoughts ever end up stuck in the past, replaying a conversation or event in your head? Susan Nolen-Hoeksema from Yale University describes ruminating as “a mode of responding to distress that involves repetitively and passively focusing on symptoms of...
3 Tips for Managing Technology with Your Teen
Do you feel frustrated when you can’t get your teen’s attention from behind his or her phone or computer? I can relate. With two teenage daughters at home, I have to work hard to preserve some closeness and family time with them. I hear all the research about how...
How to Gear Up for an Awkward Conversation
Years ago, I was the guitarist in a rock band. Well, okay, the term “rock band” might be a bit of an exaggeration. It was really a group of fresh-faced college students playing children’s music at local parks. The trouble was, our drummer had just learned some fancy...
Negative Thoughts are Like Country Music
Imagine for a moment that the negative thoughts running wild in your brain played like a country song on repeat. Would any of the songs have titles like these? “She Don’t Think My Beard Is Sexy” “All Alone Again (In My Truck)” “My Guitar Only Has Three Strings”...
10 Places to Relax around Vancouver, WA
Are you exhausted by the burden of responsibilities you’ve been shouldering? Do you need a break or a breather, even if it’s just for a few moments? Self-care is an essential component of survival in this busy world! All of us need moments when we can slow down and...
5 Apologies That Don’t Work
Have you ever wondered why your apology might not be working? It has surely happened to all of us. Sometimes we end up asking for forgiveness and somehow it still isn’t good enough. Has it ever occurred to you that it may be in your best interest to reevaluate how you...
5 Questions to Uncover Your CORE VALUES
Core values are words that describe a person’s inner compass. Core values provide people with direction when they feel stuck, lost, or at a crossroads. They help you prioritize what’s really important in life. They reflect what gives a person their sense of meaning...
How to Get the Most Out of Counseling
Most people start the counseling process with a readiness for change. Some may not know the specifics yet for how they’d like that change to look (maybe that’s why they’re in therapy), but in some way, they are not 100% satisfied with the status quo. When you step...
THOUGHT DEFUSION: An Alternative Approach to Handling Intrusive Negative Thoughts
Automatic negative thoughts are a natural part of the human experience. For the most part, we don’t conjure them up or think them on purpose. They happen instinctively. Negative thoughts get directed toward ourselves (“I can’t believe I’m running late again today!...