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A Guide to Self-Advocacy in Therapy

A Guide to Self-Advocacy in Therapy

by | Counseling, General, Mental Health

If you have been in therapy before or are currently looking for a counselor, know you are not alone if it feels like an intimidating process. The therapy world comes with many acronyms (CBT, DBT, EMDR, ACT, etc.) and it can be daunting to identify what it is you look for in a therapist. Research over the past 50 years has shown that the quality of the relationship between therapist and client, known as the ‘therapeutic alliance’, is the strongest predictor of successful outcomes in treatment. Given the importance of the therapeutic alliance, it is important that you feel seen, heard, and respected by any clinician you work with.
 
 
When meeting with a therapist, whether entering treatment or after care is established, you reserve the right to ask questions. Here are some you might ask to help yourself identify if they are a good fit for you:
 
  1. Do you have experience providing therapy to people with similar issues as mine?
  2. What are the different therapy approaches you practice, and which do you think will work best in our work together?
  3. How do you collaborate with your clients throughout the therapy process?
  4. How do you collaborate with other treatment team members (medication providers, case managers, etc.) when appropriate?
  5. Which types of coping skills do you normally help your clients learn and practice?
  6. How do you measure progress?
  7. What can I do if I feel the treatment isn’t working for me?
  8. How will I know when to stop or pause therapy if I am doing well?
  9. What is your training (what certifications or degrees do you hold)?
  10. Based on what you know about me so far, do you believe we’re a good fit? Why or why not?

 

 

 

Asking your therapist questions about their work to ensure goodness of fit empowers you to make an informed choice about your mental health needs. Not only does this help you decide if a therapist is right for you, you are already taking a step toward autonomy and practicing empowerment. What matters most in your mental healthcare is ensuring you feel seen and heard.
 
 
Some self-reflection in identifying if your therapist is a good fit:
  1. Do I feel respected by my therapist?
  2. Do I resonate with my therapist’s approach to treatment?
  3. Does my therapist listen attentively to me?
  4. Do I feel validated by my therapist?
  5. Is my therapist transparent with me about their treatment approach, and do I understand it?
  6. Does my therapist check in with me about progress and my experiences in treatment?
  7. Is my therapist an ally to me?
  8. Is my therapist open to my feedback about what works and what doesn’t?
  9. Is my therapist a safe person for all pieces of my identity?
  10. How am I feeling about working with my therapist so far?

 

Remember, you are the expert in how you feel. Check in with yourself often about what is going well, and what is not as helpful, as you progress in therapy.

 

Journaling and Mental Health

Journaling and Mental Health

by | Coping, Counseling, General, Mental Health

If you have ever had a conversation with your therapist about coping skill development, you have probably received a recommendation to begin a journaling practice. Understandably, sometimes journaling is met with skepticism – What does writing about my emotions solve, and why is writing so widely recommended?

 

Processing Emotions

  • Putting emotion on paper engages the prefrontal cortex – the part of the brain which puts language to emotion, grounds us in the present moment, and assists in regulating emotion.

Memory Consolidation

  • Put simply, memory consolidation is a process by which information in short-term memory is transferred to long-term memory. Writing about your experiences – positive or negative – strengthens the parts of the brain associated with this consolidation. What this means is that, over time, we become better at accessing various parts of a memory (sound, taste, touch, smell, thought, etc.) and this allows us to better make sense of memories that may be difficult or traumatic in nature.

Stress Reduction

  • Journaling has been found to activate the parasympathetic nervous system (the “rest and digest” response/the antithesis of fight/flight/freeze). Cortisol levels drop, breath deepens, heart rate begins to slow. Suddenly, the writer is able to be more present with themselves as they process.

 

More than what researchers have shared with us about how journaling impacts the brain (as noted above), put simply – writing with and for ourselves fosters an internal relationship. We are in relation with ourselves more often than we are anyone else, yet rarely are we taught what it means to interact with self or how to do so in a compassionate way.

 

If you are interested in exploring journaling but are unsure where to start, here are some prompts to explore:

  1. I feel __________ about journaling because…
  2. My relationship with myself could be described as…
  3. I want my relationship with myself to be more…

 

Remember, journaling is as individual as you are. Let there be spelling mistakes, run-on sentences, scribbles, and even drawings. Humans are gritty and messy; let the way you cope be gritty and messy, too.

Get Outside For Your Brain

Get Outside For Your Brain

by | May 10, 2024 | , ,

When I am among the trees, Especially the willows and the honey locust, Equally the beech, the oaks and the pines, They give off such hints of gladness I would almost say they save me, and daily. Excerpt, "When I Am Among The Trees" by Mary Oliver We live in a world...

Empowering the Self: An Introduction to Internal Family Systems Therapy

Empowering the Self: An Introduction to Internal Family Systems Therapy

by | Counseling, General, PTSD

Understanding the Internal Family Systems Model

 

Developed by Dr. Richard C. Schwartz in the 1980s, Internal Family Systems Therapy draws on a unique perspective that views the human psyche as a family system. Just as a family consists of different members with their own roles and characteristics, our internal system comprises various “parts.” These parts can be categorized into three main types:

 

  1. Exiles: These are wounded parts within us that carry unresolved traumas, pain, or memories from the past. Exiles often hold intense emotions and vulnerability.
  2. Managers: These parts take charge and work diligently to keep the exiles suppressed. They strive to maintain control, avoid triggers, and ensure our daily functioning remains intact.
  3. Firefighters: When the managers are overwhelmed or fail to protect us, the firefighters step in to manage crises. They adopt impulsive coping mechanisms such as substance abuse, disordered eating, self-harm, or other destructive behaviors to numb or distract us from the pain.

The goal of IFS therapy is to foster harmony and integration within this internal family system. By establishing a compassionate and safe space, individuals can develop a relationship with each part, understand its role, and ultimately foster healing and transformation.

 

Key Principles of Internal Family Systems Therapy

 

IFS therapy operates on several key principles that guide the therapeutic process:

 

  1. Self-Leadership: The central principle of IFS is the belief that within each person exists a core essence referred to as the Self. The Self embodies qualities such as wisdom, compassion, and curiosity. Through self-leadership, individuals can connect with their Self and guide the internal system towards healing and wholeness.
  2. Non-pathologizing Approach: IFS views all parts of the internal system as valuable and necessary. Instead of pathologizing or attempting to eliminate certain parts, therapists encourage clients to develop a compassionate and non-judgmental attitude towards themselves.
  3. Unburdening Exiles: IFS recognizes that emotional wounds and traumatic experiences can create inner exiles who carry the weight of these experiences. Through empathy and understanding, therapists help clients engage with these exiles, provide them with the support they need, and help them release their burdens.
  4. Healing Inner Conflicts: By facilitating open communication and negotiation between parts, IFS aims to resolve internal conflicts and foster cooperation. This process helps parts recognize their shared goals and enables them to work together harmoniously.

 

Benefits of Internal Family Systems Therapy

 

  1. Emotional Healing: IFS provides a powerful framework for accessing and healing deep emotional wounds. By establishing a compassionate relationship with our exiled parts, we can address unresolved traumas and find emotional resolution.
  2. Increased Self-Awareness: Through IFS therapy, individuals gain a deeper understanding of their internal system and the dynamics between their various parts. This heightened self-awareness allows for greater self-compassion and the ability to make conscious choices aligned with personal values.
  3. Integration and Harmony: The ultimate goal of IFS therapy is to foster integration and harmony within the internal system. By developing a compassionate relationship with each part, individuals can restore balance, facilitate cooperation, and enhance overall well-being.
  4. Long-lasting Transformation

 

Are you interested in working with a therapist that uses parts work? Sherese Cordova, LMHCA is currently taking new clients age 16+. Reach out today to schedule an appointment!

 

Window of Tolerance 101

Window of Tolerance 101

by | Aug 15, 2024 | , ,

Strengthening Coping Strategies Widening the Window of Tolerance The more adept we become at coping with distress, the more we strengthen our ability to experience the here-and-now sense of safety in therapy as we face our pain. When your therapist helps you ground,...

What to Expect in Your First Counseling Session

What to Expect in Your First Counseling Session

by | Counseling, Featured

So you made the decision to start therapy. You sorted through lists of available therapists, found Star Meadow, and made an appointment. Congratulations! This is the hardest step, and we’re so proud of you for taking it. For most people who have never been to therapy there is some anxiety about what happens next, so let’s walk through what you can expect.

 

  • Paperwork

Before your appointment, you’ll be sent electronic intake paperwork through a secure platform called Simple Practice. You’ll receive information about informed consent for treatment, your therapist’s privacy policy, financial disclosures, etc. While it might be tempting to breeze through these kinds of documents, please slow down and read them thoroughly! Many of the questions you might have will be answered here, and your therapist will provide space to go over anything you want to discuss further. 

 

You’ll also receive some questionnaires and survey forms. Just like when you go to the doctor’s office, these forms are standardized for everyone so there may be questions that don’t seem relevant to you or why you’re coming in.  There is so much more to you than what we can fit on these intake documents, but they are a good starting place so your therapist knows what things might be important to talk about in your intake session.

 

  • Arriving For Your Appointment

If your appointment is in-person, you will make your way to our office (10000 NE 7th Ave. Suite 403, Vancouver, WA 98685). We have free parking, and you’ll take either the stairs or elevator to the 4th floor. Inside our waiting room, you’ll take a seat until your therapist comes to call you back to their room. 

 

If your appointment is via telehealth, you’ll receive a link from Simple Practice letting you know it’s time to join your appointment. Make sure you’re in a private, comfortable space with your ID handy. Your therapist will ask you to confirm your identity and that no one else is present in the room, and then you’ll get started!

 

  • The Intake Appointment

You made it! If meeting in person, your therapist’s office will have several different seating options; please sit where you feel most comfortable! The beginning of every intake session includes a few more administrative tasks like confirming your insurance details and signing any remaining consent or release forms. The intake process varies between clinicians, but generally, you can expect an introduction and orientation to how they structure their intake sessions, and then an open invitation to let them know what brings you to therapy. If you don’t feel like you know how to sum things up, that’s ok! We’re trained to help guide you, and we will go at your pace. Many therapists ask a series of questions to explore things that might be contributing to how you’re feeling like your family/relationship dynamics, medical history, work or school history, and past experiences. Please know that at any point if you are not comfortable discussing something, it is absolutely appropriate to let your therapist know this. Their goal is to understand what’s happening for you to help you feel better as quickly as possible, but always at your pace. 

 

  • What Happens Next

Some therapists start planning structured goals and identifying a treatment plan right away, while others prefer to set broad goals for now with the idea of defining them as they get to know you more. If you are using insurance, your therapist is required to list a diagnosis. This is what tells insurance to authorize covering your sessions.  Sometimes that is clear in a first session, and sometimes they need to list a more general diagnosis, to be more clearly defined once they work with you more. Please remember that your medical information (which includes mental health documents) is confidential and covered by HIPAA. For more information on this please visit: https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/hipaa-privacy-rule-and-sharing-info-related-to-mental-health.pdf

 

The intake session can feel like a lot of information, but most folks find the second session to be more representative of what therapy with your provider will look like. If at any point you are feeling uncomfortable, want to slow down, or need something different please say so! Therapy is intended to be a collaborative process, and your therapist will be open to feedback about what you need. 

 

 

 

 

Get Outside For Your Brain

Get Outside For Your Brain

by | May 10, 2024 | , ,

When I am among the trees, Especially the willows and the honey locust, Equally the beech, the oaks and the pines, They give off such hints of gladness I would almost say they save me, and daily. Excerpt, "When I Am Among The Trees" by Mary Oliver We live in a world...

Counseling: Hope for Those that Are Suffering

Counseling: Hope for Those that Are Suffering

by | Counseling

Suffering. It’s the reason most people come to counseling. It comes in varying intensity, duration, and complication.

 

What’s your brand of suffering? Is it…

  • Anxiety that’s no longer manageable?
  • Sadness that’s stuck around too long?
  • Grief that’s shaken you to your core?
  • A relationship in distress?
  • A trauma that haunts you?
  • Burnout?
  • Physical pain that disheartens you?
  • A loss of faith or hope?
  • The experience of systemic oppression?
  • Something else?

 

Human suffering is diverse and multifaceted.  It can be emotional, spiritual, physical, cognitive, societal, or relational. Suffering is also a universal part of what makes us human.

 

Suffering is an internal alarm that something is not right. It’s the toothache that reminds you to see the dentist if you’ve been skipping your check-ups. It’s the “check engine” light that urges you to see your auto mechanic if you’ve skipped the routine tune ups.

 

In the world of mental health counseling, people rarely (if ever) come in for mental health “check ups” when things are otherwise “fine” in life. Much more frequently, they develop a backlog of suffering that builds until their emotions are loud enough to get their attention. The volume of their emotional suffering is what prompts people to seek help.

 

Suffering is a primary source of motivation for people. It’s the thing that breaks down barriers, allowing a person to finally allow in help.

 

Not only does suffering motivate people to reach out for help initially, but it also spurs on the entire change process in therapy. It creates a sense of urgency and readiness for change. It will be what prompts you to follow up on the homework your therapist assigns. It will be what reminds you that the hard work you’ll do toward change is worth it.

 

Let’s be real: The goal of counseling is not to eliminate suffering altogether. That would be impossible. Instead, counselors equip clients to manage their own daily struggles and pain effectively, using the resources learned in sessions.

 

In counseling, you can develop healthy strategies for coping with suffering which do not involve denying or avoiding it. You might even find a strength in the midst of your suffering like perseverance, drive, character, or hope.

 

If you are experiencing a brand of suffering that’s leading you to ask for help, a counselor with Star Meadow Counseling is available to help. Call us (360-952-3070) or schedule an appointment online.

7 Ways a Counselor Helps Facilitate Change

7 Ways a Counselor Helps Facilitate Change

by | Counseling

It is a mistake to assume that someone is ready to make a change, just because they tell you they’re thinking about it. Change is more complicated than Nike’s “Just do it!” slogan.

Counselors know that lasting change builds over time. Many counselors use a strategy called “motivational interviewing” to help clients move through the different stages of change:

  • Pre-Contemplation
  • Contemplation
  • Preparation
  • Action
  • Maintenance

Did you notice that the Action stage doesn’t take place until Stage 4?

People come to counseling in different places of readiness, sometimes entering unsure, only contemplating change. Other times, people are already mid-way through the Action stage when they decide they need some extra help. Regardless, your counselor will tailor therapy for you based on your stage of change.

In the early stages of therapy (and throughout the process) building a solid therapeutic alliance with your counselor is integral to therapeutic success. The two of you must partner together to align on your therapeutic goals. Counselors use skills like empathizing, using open-ended questions, reflective listening, and summarizing to help you make your own decisions about change.  We respect your decision-making process.

Here’s how counseling can help you move through the change process:

1. Counseling honors your resistance.

During the pre-contemplation stage, you may have some blind spots. You might not have considered changing a certain aspect of your life.  Perhaps you’ve been pressured to come to counseling by a nagging spouse, or perhaps you’re are genuinely clueless about how a certain thought-pattern is adversely affecting you. At this point, a counselor will explore your reasons for coming to counseling and directly reflect any reluctance. Maybe there is a good reason why you’ve held back from changing! It’s a counselor’s job to build trust, understand your problem, and gather factual data.

2. Counseling allows you to explore ambivalence, non-judgmentally.

In the contemplation stage of motivational interviewing,your counselor will continue using reflective listening skills to maintain a strong therapeutic relationship while concurrently emphasizing change-talk. You will work together to explore the costs and benefits of change. Clients at this stage remain uncertain about doing anything differently. That’s okay! A therapist can help break down the nature of your ambivalence, understand barriers, get to the root of your deeper values and reasons for changing, and help you to “tip the decisional balance scales” (as described in Miller and Rollnick’s book, “Motivational Interviewing: Helping People Change”).

3. Counseling prompts to refine your vision for the future.

The next stage in motivational interviewing is Preparation. In this stage, you have made an intellectual commitment to change but may not know how to translate your desired change into practice. You might need help setting clear goals and understanding your options for implementing change. Your counselor will work in tandem with you to create a practical and personalized treatment plan.

4. Counselors teach skills for the successful completion of therapy. 

Every therapist has a unique toolbox of skills, based on their therapeutic orientation (ex. Cognitive-behavioral, existential, narrative, art therapy, psychodynamic, EMDR, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Gestalt, etc.). Many therapists operate from an eclectic approach, pulling techniques and perspectives from a variety of therapeutic modalities. In choosing a counselor, read their bio online to see if their way of thinking about problems (and solutions) fits with yours.

5. Counselors empower you to act on your vision by taking calculated risks and overcoming obstacles. 

In the Action stage of change, you begin to make headway on your goals. Your counselor will help you identify potential roadblocks and prepare strategies overcoming them. You might even receive homework from your counselor, tailored to helping you take the next step toward your bigger picture goal. Throughout this process, you’ll reinforce your rationale for change. You may encounter obstacles. Keeping your reason for change in mind will help you keep your eyes on the prize, building resilience as you encounter set-backs.

6. Your counselor may help with short-term wins first.

The steps you take may be small at first, but you’ll be moving forward nonetheless. It is important to celebrate small victories. It feels great to experience progress! If improvement reaches a stand still, it may be time to re-evaluate. Maybe there’s a new roadblock? Maybe there’s an old roadblock that came up unexpectedly in the form of a traumatic memory? You will continue to troubleshoot throughout the entire change process, working toward one small “win” at a time.

7. Counselors help you maintain gains.

In the Maintenance stage, clients have achieved their stated goals and are hoping to continue their work through ongoing lifestyle change. This is the part in therapy where you’ll consolidate gains. You might reflect on all of the steps it took to get you here. It didn’t happen on accident! You’ll take stock of the skills, mindsets, and changes to your environment that you’ve made that allowed success to take place.

Are you ready to make a change in life? Maybe you’re ready to shift out of long-standing depression, low self-esteem, or anxiety. Maybe you’re ready to change dynamics in your family or marriage. If you are thinking about a change, a counselor with Star Meadow Counseling may be able to help. Online scheduling is available on our website– www.starmeadowcounseling.com.

A Guide to Self-Advocacy in Therapy

A Guide to Self-Advocacy in Therapy

If you have been in therapy before or are currently looking for a counselor, know you are not alone if it feels like an intimidating process. The therapy world comes with many acronyms (CBT, DBT, EMDR, ACT, etc.) and it can be daunting to identify what it is you look...

read more
Journaling and Mental Health

Journaling and Mental Health

If you have ever had a conversation with your therapist about coping skill development, you have probably received a recommendation to begin a journaling practice. Understandably, sometimes journaling is met with skepticism - What does writing about my emotions solve,...

read more
4 ADHD Skills That Actually Work

4 ADHD Skills That Actually Work

If you have ADHD, you know that finding the right set of tools and techniques that work for you can be a process of trial and error. What works for you might be the opposite of helpful for someone else. Below you’ll find a few techniques to try that go beyond the...

read more
What to Expect in Your First Counseling Session

What to Expect in Your First Counseling Session

So you made the decision to start therapy. You sorted through lists of available therapists, found Star Meadow, and made an appointment. Congratulations! This is the hardest step, and we’re so proud of you for taking it. For most people who have never been to therapy...

read more
Counseling: Hope for Those that Are Suffering

Counseling: Hope for Those that Are Suffering

Suffering. It’s the reason most people come to counseling. It comes in varying intensity, duration, and complication.   What’s your brand of suffering? Is it… Anxiety that’s no longer manageable? Sadness that’s stuck around too long? Grief that’s shaken you to...

read more
7 Ways a Counselor Helps Facilitate Change

7 Ways a Counselor Helps Facilitate Change

It is a mistake to assume that someone is ready to make a change, just because they tell you they’re thinking about it. Change is more complicated than Nike’s “Just do it!” slogan. Counselors know that lasting change builds over time. Many counselors use a strategy...

read more
Understanding Cognitive Therapy: The Basics

Understanding Cognitive Therapy: The Basics

Have you ever wondered how your feelings are generated? Do you understand what it is that triggers your emotions? The fact is, there are many different answers to these questions in the field of psychology.  Let’s take a look at just one of those approaches from the...

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Answers to 3 Questions about Boundaries in Counseling

Answers to 3 Questions about Boundaries in Counseling

1. How does confidentiality work in therapy? Seeing a counselor is sort of like being in the witness protection program. Even the fact that the counselor knows you is kept private and confidential. That means that when they run into you out in public, the counselor...

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